Wodonga’s water tower: the Big Ugly?

Above: the “big ugly penis shaped lump of concrete” gets into the spirit of Christmas with some festive lights.

Australia has a proud tradition of “big” things, Wodonga already has the world’s largest rolling pin, Myrtleford has the “big cigarette”, there’s the “big Ned Kelly” in Glenrowan, Swan Hill has the “big Murray cod”, there’s another “big Murray cod” in Tocumwal, Nerandera has the world’s largest playable guitar, you’ll want to stay away from Kiama, they’ve got the “big turd” (it’s true, perhaps just as disturbingly it’s main tourist attraction is the “Kiama blow-hole”) and I think we can all envy Cobar with their “big beer can”.

But it seems Wodonga is looking to double up on it’s “big things” value with the “big ugly penis shaped lump of concrete” commonly known as the water tower.

Recent attempts to clean it with a high pressure hose don’t seem to have done much to improve it’s appearance, nor has putting a fake gnome door around the back of it.

I guess giving it a coat of flesh-coloured paint and growing a bit of a rambling hedge around the base of it will be the next attempt to take the sting out of Australia’s ugliest icon.


About alburywodongaonline

Hi I'm Jack Stone (a pseudonym), I'm a long-time Albury resident and I think it's a great place to live and work. I have a strong interest in local events and media and I started this site because I think a different perspective is often needed when reporting local news. I take a keen interest in local politics, as well as what's going on at the state and federal level, I'm also a supporter of social justice issues, the envirionment and the need for people to have a say in the events that effect their lives. I'm a fan of the Border Bandits and I'd love to see both teams take the flag this year, and next year, and maybe the one after that too.
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22 Responses to Wodonga’s water tower: the Big Ugly?

  1. raydixon says:

    Well come on Jack, when are you going to put forward the only sensible solution for “the big ugly”?

    You know as well as I do that it’s real potential lies in being converted into THE WORLD’S BIGGEST FLESHLIGHT.

    Although I guess it’s only Grods readers who would appreciate the significance of that proposition.

  2. well you know, I try to keep it tasteful.

  3. raydixon says:

    As this post so clearly demonstrates!

  4. I’m sure I have no idea what you mean

  5. Looks like the big monument Soeharto put up in the middle of Jakarta. It was called “father of a nation” by some.
    Sounds like someone was compensating for something up wodonga way as well.

  6. hey welcome back BLL, it looks like a surplus item from a Japanese Shinto festival to me.

  7. Jack, if you don’t want the top searches coming into this site to include the word p-nis, maybe you should stop using it in your posts?

  8. yes but you’ll notice that the one other post I used it in has been rating it’s proverbial socks off ever since.

    It’s a tip I got from the pro-blogger website you showed me.

  9. So use the word “water tower” rather than the word “penis”!

  10. JR says:

    Jack, you may be interested to know that neither Gorf nor M are impressed and maybe plotting to recruit me to mend your ways.

    Secondly, my life is (ouch) hell.

  11. JR what’s a “Gorf”?

    Kieren obviously the whole point of this post was to boost the stats by using known search terms, that and my need to vent at what a butt-ugly landmark the Wodonga water tower is.

  12. JR says:

    I might take this opportunity to suggest that before writing on a subject, you might want to brush up on your knowledge of it.

    Now that you know that I can be a educated, intelligent, smart arse…


  13. So let me get this straight, the grand plan to take Wodonga into the 21st century relies entirely on a fictitious gnome?

    Is he nominating for the council elections in November?

    “Vote 1 Gorf”

    You’d have to consider it a sensible proposal given some of the current seving Wodonga councillor’s track record.

  14. JR says:

    Yep, Jack, we’re on our way. I think I can safely trash my fridge magnet now.

    I wonder if this is the same little guy that Wangers has entrusted with his re-election?

  15. Just out of interest, has anyone actually ever seen Gorf and Rodney Wangman in the same room, at the same time?

  16. JR says:

    Actually, no.

    But more importantly, how do we know they’re not one and the same person? When you look at the size of the door, they look to be about the same size.

    Wouldn’t that be one for the books, Wangers leading a double life? Could start a whole new career direction for him. New business name and all, like, “Gnome and Gnome and Co”.

    You know, they even have story time for the kiddies during Lounging on High. I know a little gnome that would be just the ticket for telling tall tales to the littlies, just like he does to the grown-ups.

  17. that’s just what I thought JR, you know I was in Wodonga the other day, I pulled up at the traffic lights and who should cross right in front of me but Wangers himself, he is a short arse isn’t he?

    He’ll never know he was less than six feet away from the notorios Wangman slanderer Jack Stone heh heh heh.

  18. JR says:

    I’m disappointed, Jack. You make it sound like we only have one set of traffic lights. Not nice.

    And tell me, how much restraint did it take to keep your foot off the loud pedal? Could at least have honked and flipped him the bird.

  19. Oh I waved and told him exactly who I was, I just did it from the safety of the driver’s seat and much too quietly to be audible.
    My passenger thought it was a great joke.

  20. JR says:

    Onya, Jack, your bravery does ya proud!

  21. Pingback: The “Big Ugly”, now less so. « Albury Wodonga Online

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